Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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