Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she told me i tasted like america
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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