had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
