Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize