also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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