i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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