I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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