He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
