He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
