And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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