if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
