Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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