You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
