Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
