You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
