Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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