Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
