I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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