It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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