Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
