two words: eviction party
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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