elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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