i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
