Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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