I wish I could punch you in the face.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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