your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
