I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just pee around me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
