plz talk dirty to me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
