Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
