So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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