talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
