1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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