I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
