Yo dont text me then not text me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
