Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
