I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
