is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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