false alarm. still invincible.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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