careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
