omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
