The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
