the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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