she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
