Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
