guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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