covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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