Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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