I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize