Need sex. Gaining weight.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
