Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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