so explain again why im purple
no
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I looked at my own cervix.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize