I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
