Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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