I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
