We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
