I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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