it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
