I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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